Bad Dad

There's a ton of advice on how to be a good parent out there. However, I discovered some gritty kid-tested techniques that have proven to be remarkably effective -- despite the fact they go against common sense, and if the neighbors caught you -- they'd label you a Bad Dad.

Three sure-fire Bad Dad hints to stroll your kid for sweet nap :

1. Go for the bumps. Yup! Strollers are now souped up with shock absorbers and knobby tires. I'm not buying it. When I want my kid to fall asleep, I hit the bumps, gravel, potholes, back alleys, and broken concrete. Any surface that will shake and bounce your little one to sleep.

2. Head for the traffic. Forget the serene country road and chirping birds. I say head for the cars on main street. Sounds wrong - I know! Yeah, the air quality is worse, but the white noise is a godsend. The sounds of cars driving and the general hustle of activity will block out any individual obnoxious sleep-stealing sounds like the freaking icecream truck or that infernal car alarm that's trying to ruin your hard earned nap.

3. Lastly, stroll into the sun. That's right! Forget the stroller canopy and lose the shade.
Purposely angle your stroller directly towards that big ball of fire in the sky. You might think oh my god I'm going to blind my child. And I say --you are. You're blinding your kid to sleep. That's the Bad Dad way -- but it works. Now, I'm no ophthalmologist, and who knows the full extent of the retinal damage I may be doing, but trust me, it gets the kid to sleep. Look, your child's not a moron, if it's sunny - she'll close her eyes, which is one step closer to reaching that covetted nap.